Understanding love is not something I thought I would ever fully know. Am I knowing love now? I am pretty sure I am. What I can say is that I am growing in love.
While that may sound a little weird, let me explain. What started as a friendship flourished into something different. The more time we spent together the more we enjoyed each others company. We were both hesitant to give whatever was happening a title. We ignored it. Didn’t talk about it, and carried on as normal. Then I called it what it was. I’m an awkward individual sometimes. Those who know me know this. I can say this was something different and new for me. I didn’t know how to even start to make a real relationship work.
Guess what though……..I found a way. I feel safe and at peace with him. I can be myself.
When you feel that, it is when you start to feel you are growing. You start doing things you didn’t think you would do. You didn’t want to fit into the regular stereotype of a girl in love and want to cuddle and want them around constantly, but you start to see yourself grow in those aspects. When you spend so much alone, you realize you felt safer on your own. An internal battle begins where you want your peace but then again you’re willing to let this one person interrupt it for a little while at a time. You didn’t think you would be that annoying girlfriend that always wants to be in his bubble. To me, that is me growing in love. I’m learning how to love myself in this new stage of life. I am learning to love him as well as how to love us and what we have began to form.
Once you start growing together, you start forming a different bond. It’s a bond that is hard to explain. Without speaking you know what the other is thinking. You can sense their “vibe” by just looking at them. You grow to take care of one another and you want each other to be ok in all aspects. If the person is having a bad day, you want to make it better or give them space if they need it. Of course there are going to be growing pains, but you learn to talk and work through those. It’s not a shouting match. It is not war. It can be an intense conversation but a discussion nonetheless. You learn how to be respectful in your talks and listen to understand versus listening just to respond or you learn when to have selective hearing.
Growing in love is not easy, but it can be a journey you don’t regret. It is something that if the love is real, you never stop doing.
If you haven’t grown in love with someone, I hope you do one day. If you have, continue to enjoy it or revel in the realization that you did. It is a feeling you don’t experience often.
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