Let me start with something important. YOU MATTER! Your feelings matter. No matter what your financial and social situation is, you matter. Sometimes we don’t realize that we matter. We go through life living for others. We follow the commands given or we subject ourselves to being a watered down version of ourselves just for others to accept us. Why?
I will tell you why! This happens when we are not confident and comfortable with who we are or we fear being alone. Is not being you worth pretending to be someone else? Is that relationship genuine if you are faking who you are?
Watering down who I am is what I’ve done for years. I could tell when people were intimidated by me and my knowledge so I would not be as outspoken as I normally am. I silenced my voice for others to take the spotlight. When I look back, I did this why? To consider others? What did I do to myself in the process. I conditioned myself to do what so many before fought to avoid. I let people see me but not hear me. I played quietly and just did as I was told even when I did not agree and I allowed others to make me feel like I was not worth much.
I can officially say that era is over! My thoughts matter, my feelings matter, my opinion matters but most importantly (in my situation) my voice matters! There’s no reason why I should not be able to express myself in a respectful manner that helps me feel better and provides others insight to my thoughts.
Some people are not going to be able to handle it. Some will cringe but is the consideration of their feelings worth you feeling like you are less than? Don’t dim your light for anyone. Let people know how you feel. Be honest. If you are not ok with a situation explain that. Do not hold back and have those crucial conversations. They maybe uncomfortable but you will feel better afterwards. This isn’t an act of defiance but an act of self-care! Thebmain thing is to speak respectfully and you will see how things start to look up for you. I would lie if I said you may not loose people while doing this, but that means that person or persons were not meant to share a spot with the authentic you!
***I know it’s been a while and I’m a little rusty, but I’m back! More to come soon!
-LDA.